It is after 1 AM, and I am beyond tired. I've been up since well before dawn. Midnight to be exact, and yet I do not have the urge to sleep.

Then again, I think at this point I am afraid to sleep as something is telling me if I do, I'll end up waking up much later than I want to, and still be on a night time schedule.

My bud Splitter has picked up the WoW addiction. He decided to play the 10 day free trial... oops. Another fish hooked. His wife has been watching him play... I think she too will soon have the addiction. The evil spreads.

I did stay up intentionally all day today, though. I was very intent on seeing Terminator Salvation, and was very pleased with the movie. I do suggest it if you're looking for something to see this weekend.

Well, this weekend was most annoying to say the least. A member of my family had a seizure on Friday, which was also my birthday. He went to the hospital on Saturday after suffering a second seizure in the early AM. Well, they gave him something intravebously for the seizures, which basicly sent him into hallucinations. As time progressed, they got worse. As did his behavior.

After spending all night trying to keep him from going outside, and getting at the people he believed were under the house, I opted to leave for a few days. More so after the kidney punch after one incident where he got outside, and I had to drag him back into the house. I wasn't going to get arrested yet again. Actually, middle of the night Saturday, I had dialed 911 to send an ambulance, and instead got deputies. Yes, his behavior was that bad.

Well, after much reassurance from my sibling, they opted to leave him in her care instead of carting him off. That's was the straw that truly made me leave. So, I spent a nice couple of days visiting my bud who I've been helping around his ranch while he's laid off. It wasn't so bad. We did a few things to progress stuff along a little, and hung out a lot.

No new leads on jobs, and nothing really advertised that I could apply for. Though this recent fiasco has strengthened my resolve to find something, and improve my situation. I'm actually disappointed there are no calls over the power outages due to flooding and tornadoes in other states.

All in all, I'm tired of pretty much everything that goes on around me, and have resolved to do whatever it takes to GTFO.

In my quest for something to eat that I would enjoy today, I decided upon DQ. For those not up with the lingo, that's Dairy Queen. I know. I know. Ice cream, but the one in this town has a bazier also (this is very important because I hate when I wander into a DQ that isn't a brazier and order a cheeseburger, only to get rewarded with the deer in headlights look). So, I order a couple of cheeseburgers (yes, Iko-ling, I know it's not good for my gout, but they're tasty) and a Blizzard. Blizzard is ready to go in 2 minutes. Cheeseburgers take 15 minutes.

Now, I'm sure some of you just did the math, and thought, I hope they made that Blizzard last. Nope. It happily sat on the counter for about 8 minutes waiting on the cheeseburgers. If the place had been less slam packed full of people, I'd have probably asked them to make another one. Instead, I'm blogging about it, so you can all go, "Damn, the man wanted a Blizzard and ended up with a melt-shake."

The cheeseburgers, on the other hand, did not fail to satisfy. Then again, it coulkd be the Aleve kicking in, making me feel oddly euphoric.

As always, I thank everyone for the birthday wishes. I celebrated by seeing Star Trek, and was fairly pleased with the movie. I was also happy with Simon Pegg as a young Scotty. So, all in all, it wasn't a terrible day. Boobs in the inbox would be icing on the cake, but that rarely happens.

And in case I'm quiet for weeks on end, like I always am, happy mother's day to all you mom's out there. It can be amazing what some of you do, and still manage to smile at the end of the day.

Well, after last night's episode of new ways to piss me off, today was a bit less exciting.

I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, call my bud Splitter to see if he wanted to roam the hallowed halls of the Inverness court house with me, and then got ready to go wait around. To pay people money.

I arrived without problems, and then got to wait while the lady double checked if the note on my file actually meant the money I posted for bond was in fact going toward court costs. This of course after having to rifle through all my pockets, and put everything into my hat, which I then placed into a bin. Neither hat nor bin were actually examined, so I probably could have put a small .22 pistol in there, and it wouldn't have been noticed. Once it was confirmed that bond money was going to actually be put toward court costs (nevermind the amount owed was court costs minus bond payed), I payed the clerk my money. I also made sure to get a receipt.

It was then up to the next floor to make a "donation" to teen court. Really... is it a donation if it's mandatory? Moot point now, since I payed it as part of a pre-trial agreement. Did you really think it was that easy? Of course not sillies. I had to wait around until the lady who ran that particular office came back. No hours of operation posted, and the infomation desk didn't have much to say except that teen court keeps irregular hours. I later found out just how irregular from the lady at Salvation Army as she informed me someone else had been trying for weeks to pay his "donation" without luck. Teen court was more than happy to take my money, and give me a receipt. They also let decide how to apply my donation. Sadly, there was no "Beat their ass with a good old fashioned switch." option to select.

Receipts in hand, it was off to Salvation Army. Where I signed in, and waited. Thankfully, I didn't get the "You need an appointment/We can't deal with you today even though you have an appointment" treatment. Once I actually got called into the office, they took my money, made me fill out some paperwork, and told me they'd be sending it all to the clerk of courts. On Monday. *facepalm* So, technically speaking, while I'm done with all the bullshit, I'm not done with all the bullshit. Probaby won't be until next Friday that all the charges get dismissed. In the meantime, I'm not supposed to drink, do drugs, associate with criminals, participate in illegal activities, get a speeding tickets, touch myself while one handed internet surfing, smoke, be gainfully employed, etc etc.

Yeah, like I do anything illegal anyway.

I had to do a lot of union dealings this week. Union hall to take of my treasurer's duties. Union meeting to learn the job scene is grim at this point. Union job line to listen to the lack of calls.

Yeah. They did give out some service pins at the meeting though. One gy got a 40 year pin, and being the fool that I am, was shouting speech from the back. He gave a small one, and got a bit choked up. They gave another fellow a 60 year pin. He gave a speech without much prompting, and also got choked up. He spoke about how he missed all the folks he came up in the business with because they were no longer around. I felt kind of sad for the fellow. Both gentlemen recieved much applause. After all, 40 years in a job field with the same union is an impressive feat. I can't even fathom doing something for 60. Sometimes, I have trouble thinkng about 10.

No new prospects job wise.

I also think whoever came up with the phrase, "It could be worse, you could be six feet under." needs to be drug into the street and shot. Soon as I told people about my past month of crap, they said that. Jinxed me. My air bed died last night. So, I have to be up early, and didn't get crap for sleep. Did I mention I was the one driving?

The highlight of my day was the eggs benedict at the diner near the union hall. They almost tempted me with a gyro meat omelette, but my beloved eggs benedict won out. I do enjoy a good eggs benedict, and they make a damn fine one. Though, come to think of it, I really don't know the name of the place. Lol. No eggs benny for j00!

Five years ago, I lost a friend. Taken before her time, the world also lost a wonderful and caring soul. I cannot put into words what I am feeling right now. I did not think that I would find myself misty eyed, but I do. Everytime I start to say what I am feeling, trying to convey the loss I feel, I get a few paragraphs done, and then delete everything.

How does one put into words a feeling of sadness so deep that thinking about it brings forth tears. Years ago, I wrote this:

Before I went to college, I had very few friends, and bottled up my emotions just as easily as one would bottle water. I was an emotionless drone who was apathetic about everything. In college, I met people who taught me otherwise. Their kindness changed me forever. Hers was a special kindness. More rare than any precious metal, and exhibited by few.

It made me feel....


...human. Thank you, for being my friend.

Now, as then, I still feel the hurt. As if a part of myself had been ripped away, leaving a raw open wound. I still ask myself how one so beautiful could be taken from this world so young, yet a miserable bastard like myself can drive a 55,000 pound truck into a ditch at 55mph without any broken bones. If not for the soft tissue damage, I probably could have walked away. Even then, if I set my mind to it, I could have definately crawled away.

When I finally noticed the date change, despite knowing this day was coming, I still started crying. Silently weeping by myself in the confines of my room. There are few others in this world who I would miss as much. Some know who they are, others do not. I do not stay in contact with them as best I should. I should probably take better care of these relationships, for I never know when one day they'll be gone. Orr, perhaps, I'll be gone.

I do wish I could see her dance one more time. She did dance so beautifully on industrial nights at C Street. Perhaps just one more hug, as we often did when we met. She was ever the gracious hostess when she hosted dinner at her place, making sure there was plenty for all in the form of good food, good friends, and good cheer. Sadly, only in memories and dreams.

Here come the tears again...

In Fond Memory - Rebecca Jackson - March 18, 2003.

Something Tarik once had played for her...

I always get a kick out of reading the online personals. Between the bot ads which are blatently obvious to the disgruntled posts, there's always amusement.

For example, one brave soul posts she sick of cheaters and liars, and then goes on to sau how she wants a man that's a homeowner, and is looking for a lady to take care of his place. She also mentioned she had kids and was divorced. Does this set off alarms for anyone else? Anytime I read the words "financially secure" "children" and "divorced", I can't help but laugh at the sucker who's going to net that one. She'll take care of your house alright. Take care of half of it in divorce court.

Terrible trend in Florida. Seems like too many I meet just want to have kids and take someone for child support.

The online job ads are about as amusing. You have the scammers who are always on the loose, and are pretty easy to spot. Tnen, you have the so called employers who are looking for people for work, but advertise either below minimum wage, or well below skilled trade wages. But my personal favorittes are the vocal flaggers. They will happily flag anyone and everyone they deem is posting an ad below scale, and then will brag about it. Sometimes I think the whole idea of self policing is like the honor system. It only really works if everyone who isn't cheating is actually honest.

So, I decided to hit a carryout Chinese place nearby. While the food isn't all that fantastic, it is relatively inexpensive. I got something for my sister and brother-in-law, and orange chicken for myself. I asked them to make it spicy, and they put in the small Chinese death peppers whole. Thankfully, I know them wel enough tp pick them out. Anyone who has ever had a whole Chinese death pepper in a dish knows it's a little nuclear bomb of hotness waiting to go off in your mouth.

Well, I told my siblings this, and they were skeptical. Both said they'd eat them. I mere scoffed and said hold on. Tied the pooches up, opened the kitchen door, and got the big bottle of iced tea ready. My brother-in-law never got past the first chew before he was running out the door, spitting it out. In fact, he was pretty much in tears over the hotness. My sister... she must have got a mild one for the first one, so she decided to eat two more simultaneously. My predictions held true, and she was out the door. Eventually, she ended on the floor, looking like road kill, proclaiming she's going to die.

I was laughing so hard, I almost choked on what I was eating - my orange chicken, minus the whole death peppers I had picked out. My family always fails to comprehend what I'm saying when I predict doom. And when it comes to food, I'm not an expert, but I do know a few things. Like don't eat the Chinese death peppers whole.

It was mostly routine stuff, petitioning for a later court date to interview a new witness who turns out to be the 911 operator who took the call. My lawyer has said they said I qualify for pre-trial intervention. Have to get the full details on that, but a few people I know who have apparently had that before seemed displeased with it. So, I may get my day in court after all.

My lawyer did introduce some humor into the court room while tending to another client's case. Apparently his other client had been bitten by a police dog, resulting in my attorney stating he had learned a new vernacular today. When a police dog bites a suspect, it apparently shows up on the report as "apprehension marks", and his client had endured several "apprehensions". I chuckled at that one.

So, my next day in court, should I decide to go to trial, is March 30th. I can't wait. Whee.

Well, my youngest sister and brother-in-law rented a small single wide in the area, and I'm mooching a room there. The rent for the place actually isn't bad for the area. The outsiede of the place doesn't look all that great, but the landlord did some decent remodeling on the interior.

They got power the day they moved in. No cable or internet yet, but that should be remedied by noon tomorrow. Cell signals are atrocious out here, which is why I haven't even been online with my laptop. I have discovered the house pretty much blocks all cellular signals. Out front, I get maybe one bar of service on the modem and two on the phone. Out back, I get two bars on the modem and three on the phone. I made this discovery today, and decided to log in for a bit. Sadly, no outlets near by and no extension cords to speak of, thus my limiting factor is how much juice the battery holds. I should be fine so long as I don't do anything cpu or gpu intensive.

I have to go to my court date Thursday. I'm very much hoping my attorney just gets them to dismiss the charges. Would make things a whole lot easier. My stress levels would reduce drastically.

Nothing new to speak of on the work scene, and at this point, I'd settle for anything that lets me keep my car insurance and cell bill paid, while lettering me help with the rent while staying at my sister's.

Well, my youngest sister and brother-in-law are finally moving out of my mom's house. This is helpful to me as they'll be living ina small place with 2 bedrooms, and I'll be bunking in one. They're both tolerable to me, and it'll get me out of my bud's house. Plus, if I find work, I'll be able to contribute some. When I do work, I tend to spend all but the weekend out of town.

I'm just looking forward to getting access to my desktop again. Lots of info on that.

Speaking of work, there's a call on the job line I can put my name in the hat for. Sadly, there's a *HUGE* list of names that can call in for that job. I have heard that there's also a local project going on that's hiring general laborers for a 3 month job for 12 hours a day at $12 per hour or more. I'll be looking in to that as well. I'm hoping laborers doesn't translate to slaves.

Fun fun fun.

Apparently Facebook has an import option that's compatible with LJ. SO, it looks like everything I write here will end up there.

WHich isn't much these days. Maybe I'll become more active at my blogging again.

The work scene is still shit, with rumors of potential work coming up in March. I also really need to wander into the union hall and do my treasurer's duties. Sign some check, sign some vouchers, look at the record of deposits, and other such financial things. Anyone else ever been a treasurer for a union local? I'm always open to suggestions as to how I can improve myself when it coms to doing said duties.

That's about it for now. I really need to take a shower.

It really is amazing what you sometimes stumble across. I've had a Facebook account for a bit, specifically when someone here tossed me an invite. Well, a friend from WoW and my guild - www.theoldergamers.com - sent me a message from there once, and I decided to fill out a bit more info. Low and behold, lately, like all these people from high school started sending friend requests.

It's a bit scary and overwhelming. Some requests even came from people I kind of knew in grade school. I know I've gotten some people before. Greg is a prime example. How he found me, I have no idea, but he's a usual that's always lurking somewhere. But seeing all these others. It reminds me how old I'm getting. Lots of folks married, and with kids. Sadly, I even discovered via one friend request a gal I knew in grade school named Margaret passed away. Haven't delved into it further, but still... it's a saddening thought.

Life is craptacular at the moment. Been laid off for a bit now, didn't qualify for unemployment yet again, and the job scene is still shit. Add to it I was arrested about a month ago for defending myself, and things went from bad to worse as the person who called the police was my stepfather. Since i was staying there with him and my mom, the bench order to not contact the victim made me essentially homeless until my bud gave me some couch space. But how long can someone mooch off a bud before overextending their welcome?

The only bright spot on the horizon is my lawyer says because of the factors involved, and my stepfather's stated intent to not show up to the trial (which is next week), I have a good chance of being found not guilty, or, and this would be a lot better, having the charges dropped.

That's the latest. Drop me a line here if you need my email address to get my info for Facebook or MySpace.

The car dilemma is covered under the warranty. Which is good because I didn't feel like popping for a new steerng column myself. GM Roadside picked up the car, took it to the local stealership, and they're getting the part tomorrow. So, hopefully, done by Wednesday.

My car has electronic power steering. It's having issues. I now have to figure out how to get it into the stealership here in town while I'm at work out of town. Why is it shit happens that I have no control over? Mother fucker. It better be under warranty. I don't need another repair due to some squirrel sabotage. Did I mention that last one? if not, basicly a squirrel decided to eat through one of the vents on my fuel system. This did not make the car happy, and the part is a component of the fuel tank. So... it was a choice between a $160 fix that might (and it did) work or a $3000 new fuel tank.

Fun fun fun.

The doughnuts. I stopped in at a local bakery and snagged a dozen. Decadence, I tell you. Snarfed 3 up as soon as I got back from dropping my car off to be detailed. Forgot how tasty fresh doughnuts can be. MMMM.

Now that you're all drooling, I'm off to play some WoW.

Well, i managed to survive this past week's ight shifts. The next two weeks, we're going to go to 6 days a week. So, I doubt I'll be home next weekend. The first night we were able to work it was fricking freezing. Literally. We watched everything ice over. In Flrodia.

The weather she is an amazing thing.

Now, the fun begins trying to get back on a day schedule before Monday. I'm getting old.

We were supposed to start the night shift for one week last night. Well, the rain didn't really let up until 10pm, but before that, all the nasty weather knocked out some lines. So, even if it stopped raining, the power company wouldn't have given us the clearances we needed to do the work. My futile attempt to stay up all night again in preparation failed miserably.

So, now it's way to early, and I'm wide awake. Looks like another mid afternoon nap. We'll be working tonight. Hurray.